Huge super hero franchise in the works!

"Roachy" will be a super powerful character whose "kryptonite" will be bug spray

A tardigrade character is said to be unbeatable, but can be easily flicked away with a finger

Keep Off Productions is proud to announce the development of a super hero franchise featuring 33% more super heroes than Marvel or DC. 

"We got them based on a cockroach and the tiny tardigrade, plus a guy who can throw a javelin really far. The catch is he has no aim," said one boss. "Javelins are cool, maybe not as cool as bullets but there's room in the javelin/spear market for a new character. Just think of the merchandising! Every parent is going to buy Timmy and Kimmy a javelin to throw around the yard."

"Marvel dropped the ball in not creating a character based on an aardvark. We've already got a prototype costume: we stuck a vacuum inside a costume and put the hose down the snout area. Boom, instant super powers."

In total, 4,000 super hero films are expected and each super hero will get a shot at saving the world before being "killed off", before magically appearing again via some kind of stupid excuse.